So, maybe the pre-historic people had the right idea...

This article ran in Sunday's L.A. Times. It deals perfectly about the shift in marriage and relationships. This author makes the point that what we understand as the "proper" view of marriage may not be what is most effective for both males and females.
Have a read:

here

Is that wedding bells I hear...oh, just my ears ringing...

I do have to say that it's quite ironic that there is no one but me and the owner in Cafe Young and Lazy.
I personnally enjoy this place specificially for that reason. Faster Wi-Fi, good organic coffee and no reasons to slack off other than the ones I conjure up.

The new semester is in full swing, thus the late start to 2007 for the M.A.Y.A. Years. These next four months will challenge me in ways I haven't been challenged before, so I'll apologize up front for the lack of frequency, but I promise to be as consistent as possible.

A story spoke of how unmarried women now dominate the census landscape. There are now more unmarried people than married people. Either folks are getting married later in life, or choosing to live with a partner or partners.

I might be completely off-base here, but I've always surmised that the cultural understanding is that women are in more of a pressing need to be married than men. The economical gap and the desire to have a two-parent household has always made this so.
Of course, that isn't the case anymore, which is a great thing. However, the side effect of all of this is the shifting from a communal society to an individualistic society. In essence, the need of community and coupleship has altered in its definitions and forms. Community now comes with friends intead of spouses as the predominate factor. Self-reliance and actualization are tops in the life goals of people. I think of myself as an individual first, rather than a member of society first.

What does this mean for marriage? I'm not sure. I can say that this means a lot for the M.A.Y.A. Years. The first focus isn't on getting a wife, but rather establishing your life. Then maybe you can get married...maybe. Folks are having sex at an earlier age and the quest for intimacy takes on a different variable.

I do wonder...what is this doing to men? In my opinion, it is men who need to be married more than women. It is men who need a community more than women. Some would point to the presence of patriarchy as evidence. I think that is true to a point. But I feel the fundamental issue is the desire for connection for men, which I feel is different from women (of course, I speak this as a dude, so there you go.)
Men have gained an identity from being the man of the house, the head of the household, the leader of most things. That desire is inherent in most men. But as society shifts to self first, couple maybe, I wonder how masculinity and manhood will adapt, if it will at all.

I mean, God said, "It is not good that man should be alone." I think God was on to something.

What do you think?