A list to end the year...

I know it's such a cliche, but I'm amazed how fast this year has flown by.

Last year, I was at my friend Tim's house, about to become a homeowner, start up a masters program, continue my work at the newspaper and flee the troubles of 2005.

This Sunday will find me at my friend Jason's house, which is down the street from my friend Tim's house, happy to no longer be a homeowner, be knee-deep in my master's program, no longer work at the newspapers and struggle to fully embrace the uncertainty of 2006.

I suppose one of the key elements of the M.A.Y.A. Years is this process of discovery. There are two questions that have to be asked and answered:
1. Who am I?
2. What am I going to do about it?

I am now fully convinced that once you come up with an answer, you realize how much it really doesn't suffice.

I used to be gung-ho about figuring out what exactly happening during the course of a year and creating resolutions for the new year. Last year, I even had a theme "Breathe and be." I think I accomplished that in some ways, and barely began to start in other ways.
This year, I don't want to set any goals. However, that's not gonna happen. I'm a goal-oriented person, whether I admit it or not. I need goals, challenges, dreams to keep going. My quarterlife crisis hasn't been not having something to strive for...it's been figuring out which thing to cross off the list first.

Nevertheless, one thing that did stick out this year that I want to keep with me. 2006 saw the story of the George Mason men's basketball team. Their rise to the Final Four was nothing short of amazing.
I read an article about the coach, Jim Larranga in the L.A. Times. In the story, the coach was talking about his team philosophy and how he got there. He talked about levels of commitments and being a real team. He spoke of meeting his mentor often and sharing the pages upon pages of "stuff" he had on basketball.
His mentor would eventually tell him that all the pages and pages were simply not needed. In the end, one only needs one page of "stuff" to coach basketball. Everything else is everything else.
So, Larranga set up to create one page worth of essentials. It took him about two years, but once it was done, he said he had a peace of mind and a clear philosophy about how to coach.

I have to say this article really affected me. I keep hearing that you know what you know when you know it. Everything else is everything else. Is this really true?
So, this year, I started this one page. What are the absolute essentials that I need to live a good life (in addition to salvation and such). Here's what I got so far:

Despite my hesitations, or maybe because of my hesitations, I do believe that God is a loving Being.
I believe that I am a good person.
My outlook of life and all that it entails depends solely on me. I alone provide the lenses upon which I see the world.
God and I are the only two beings that get to define who I am.
Life consists of forces and beings; this interaction creates connection and chaos. Because of this, I make choices, and choices make me. Some things can be attributed to God, other things are attributed to the forces of life.
I believe that I am a spiritual being having a human experience, not a human being having a spiritual experience. My spirit is the “key” to me.
I have an inherent need to connect with other people, and this inherent need must be nourished and fulfilled. My dual consciousness--having a strong self that is connected to others – demands my highest priority.
The real world is the world I make real.
The future, like the past, is a manifestation of now. The past is now memories, and the future is entrenched with expectation. I am living in the present, and the future is open and undefined. I trust the freedom of the spirit, which I believe comes from God, to open and unveil the future.
I know what I know when I know it.
I believe in Christ, and his message of redemption and hope. I claim Christ as my Savior, knowing my relationship with Christ is spirit to spirit.
I know that the truth is in the shifting middle: the endpoints are constantly moving, the middle point is quite vast, with huge pockets of undefined clarity yet to be discovered and revealed.
I know that time is a string of pearls, or a moving train, or some other metaphor. In essence, time is how I perceive it. Moments provide opportunities for life to occur. It is in those moments where life truly exists.

I do realize that this is very philosophical and such. I guess that's the foundation that's needed.
So, in leaving 2006 and looking forward to the new Year, the M.A.Y.A. Years (well, at least me) is calling on you, dear reader, for advice. What should I add? Take away? Any good ideas for this new year and enjoying the time of the Middle Aged Young Adult?

Anyways, may the New Year be one of greatness, fruitfulness and joy.

Tis the season for more postings...

But that will have to wait for just a bit longer.

Nevertheless, Merry Christmas and happy holidays from the M.A.Y.A. Years!

Life is in the coffee...

This comes from my friend Jamie. Very, very cool stuff.

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of
coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive, and some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee. After all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress."

"Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases, it 'it's just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups...and then began eyeing each
other's cups."

"Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, houses, cars, things, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have does not define nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us. God brews the coffee, not the cups ... enjoy your coffee."

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, It means you've
decided to see beyond the imperfections

Live in peace and peace will live in you.

Worry doesn't help tomorrow's troubles, but it does ruin today's happiness.

Barely afloat in a river of academia...

I am about six pages short of being done with this semester.

If anything, I learned that I shouldn't put off for tomorrow what I can do the day after.

Anyways, sorry for the lack of consistent posts. Both Linterella and I are swamped, but soon, we should return with more holiday M.A.Y.A. goodness.

Hello. I'm Descartes.

I found the following quote by Descartes in an article in The New Yorker today:

"When I consider the fact that I have doubts, or that I am a thing that is incomplete and dependent, then there arises in me a clear and distinct idea of a being who is independent and complete, that is, an idea of God. And from the mere fact that there is such an idea within me, or that I who possess this idea exist, I clearly infer that God also exists, and that every single moment of my entire existence depends on him... And now, from this contemplation of the true God, in whom all the treasures of wisdom and the sciences lie hidden, I think I can see a way forward to the knowledge of other things."

Descartes. Damn.

I have a vague recollection of studying Descartes in school, probably in my college philosophy class, but I can't remember a thing about him. Before today I'm not sure I could have accurately attributed the famous line, "I think, therefore I am," to him. And I certainly don't remember finding him all that interesting, as I did after reading the above passage, which prompted further research and reading.

It is truly unfortunate the amount of information that was wasted on me in school. I just wasn't at all interested in most things presented to me, especially anything related to math, science, or history. There were too many formulas, too many laws, too many names, too many dates, to remember. So I just didn't bother. I clung to just-this-side-of-passing grades in these subjects for most of my life. In fact, I had to take both high school intermediate algebra and college algebra twice. I stayed afloat only because my grades in other subjects—like art, literature, creative writing, drama, leadership, yearbook, humanities, pop culture, etc.—more than made up for it.

During parent-teacher conferences in grade school, my teachers would often blame my performance, or lack thereof, on "boredom." They thought that I was not sufficiently challenged on an intellectual level, that this stuff was somehow below me. Eh. As wonderfully brainy as that makes me sound, I don't think that was the case. It wasn't boredom. It was laziness and egocentrism. I was only interested in learning what I wanted to learn when I wanted to learn it. I had nearly encyclopedic knowledge of some subjects while my other courses were merely blocks of time set aside for me to read, write poetry, pass notes, or doodle.

But a funny thing happened shortly after college graduation. I suddenly became very interested in everything I once ignored, especially the sciences, history, politics, and theology. For five years, I've been on something of a rabid quest to fill these gaping holes in my brain. And the more I know, the more I realize how much I don't know (didn't Einstein say something like that?), which then prompts me to know more. It's crazy, this quest. Endless. I have 14 magazine subscriptions—three of which are weeklies—from Time to Vanity Fair to National Geographic to Wired. I'm addicted to online news websites. I'm equally addicted to Merriam-Webster Online and Wikipedia. I keep word lists and subject lists to look up later. I'm an animal.

And to what end? I'm not sure, really. Information thrills me. It provides context. Challenge. I'm continually growing and adapting as I learn more about myself, the world, God. I have courage in my convictions. It's just a shame I didn't start earlier...

Monday musings-Thanksgiving edition

This week, ABC News and USA Today begin a series on "Young and in Debt." From what I heard, it really will be something worth checking out.
Here's info:

young and in debt

In turkey news, this will be the first Thanksgiving in a long time that I can actually enjoy the family fights and scary snarls without having to rush off to work. I've been practicing my loving insults towards Grandpa in the mirror every night for the past two weeks! Yay!

All this talk about fat is making me hungry...

I'm sitting here in my Communication Policy class on Tuesday. This class is a simulation, in which class members take on official roles, either in government or in the private interest. I am Rupert Murdoch (the irony is so delicious...)
Right now, we are discussing regulation on advertising for junk food. The argument being offered is that the government has a responsibility to provide standards on how much advertising is directed at children and how much impetus should the industry have in providing healthy choices.
It's all great, but it leaves me with the issue of responsibility: at what point does personal responsibility end and social responsibility begin? Is there overlap? Or does it matter?
If working in tandem, than all aspects of accountability can be covered. Kids can eat healthier because parents are providing more nutrition, as well as the school, while the messages being sent through advertising is lessened.
But it doesn't work in tandem, and that is the problem.
What does that have to do with the M.A.Y.A. Years? Probably not a whole lot, except for the reality that somewhere along these lines, M.A.Y.A.s should have an active role in personal AND social responsibility.

Supposedly. (Of course, I say this with a slice of Domino's pizza next to me, as well as some Coke. And I really am craving a Krispy Kreme donut right now. Delicious.)

Post-election nonsense

Linterella and I make a point not to talk specifically about politics on this blog because that is not the purpose.
Regardless of how you (the reader) voted, I think we have seen a great victory for our political process. And that is especially true in terms of M.A.Y.A.S.
Young people had the highest turnout in the past 20 years. It's also worth noting that nearly half of those that voted who are under the age of 30 are for troop withdrawl in Iraq. Of course, that means that almost half either aren't or whatever.
Anyways, here's the link:

young person turnout

In other related political stuff, thanks to whoever found the article on the abstinence program for twentysomethings. Here is the link if anyone didn't see it in the comments and is interested:

abstinence

Again, I don't want to go into political arguments and such, but I do want to ask this: Is this program necessary? I can understand some sort of pregnancy prevention for teenagers and those who are not in a position to support a child (or themselves). However, in a general sense, I would think someone in their 20s should have the comprehension of sex, pregnancy and responsibility. I understand there are extreme examples, but on the whole, if one doesn't understand sex (or had some sort of a sexual experience) by this point is beyond the purview of the government.

Plus, I really don't think the government should take a stance of sexual development...but that's politics.

And I thought the Star Wars defense system was goofy enough...

I read the Bush administration has allocated funds for an abstinence program for twentysomethings.

SERIOUSLY?!?

Does anyone know anything about this?

Would you like foam on your career change?

For the past four years or so, I have worked in the career path of my choice, more or less. I am a news junkie and love newspapers. It breaks my heart to see them go down the vicious circle of corporate crap, but in the end, there is nothing better than picking up the paper in the morning...and doing the Suduko puzzle.
For several reasons, I quit my job at the last paper in July. The main decision was to go get my master's full-time, combined with I was tired of working nights and weekends and especially tired of the bullshit going on at the paper.
Fast forward a few months, and I got a job working at a coffee shop. It's about 20 hours a week, the boss seems quite nice and it'll be fun to do while I'm finishing up my degree. Plus, I'm thinking about opening up a coffee shop one of these days, so it's great experience.

So how come part of me feels like I'm now an official loser?

I'm trying really hard to fight this "career" mindset. It's the path of life...go to school, get an education, get a wife (or husband/partner/whatever works for you) and get a career. Not a job, but a CAREER. Do that for 40 years, then retire.

This is your life.

I want to do some many things in my life, including working at a coffee shop. Honestly, I have always wanted to do that. I think it would be tons of fun.

So how come part of me feels like I'm now an official loser?

Instead of going upwards and onwards, I just dropped on the social ladder, slightly to the left of "customer service representative" and "whinny blogger."
Wait...eh, never mind.

I don't consider this a career change as I do a "the opportunity came and I have the time and I want to do it, so I'm doing it while I can, dammit!" move.

So come visit, but don't ask for free coffee. Only the girlfriend gets that privilege...now, to find a girl and a friend...

Getting in on the Monday Musings action.

That's right. I still live.

While I was out being an AWOL MAYA, I came across the following article about marriage. It stems from a Census statistic stating that married households are no longer the majority in America. But it's not that there's been a rise in divorce. Of the 37 million "unmarried, non-family households," an overwhelming 83 percent are actually roommates--single twentysomethings living with their friends. People like me! And, man, do we have A LOT of living to do before we finally get around to getting married. Read it or perish.

Has being married gone out of style?

Monday musings-Week of Oct. 23

My life feels like Jello: slowly solidifying, but still wobbly and with that goofy gellatin aftertaste to it.

I am pretty much set on school: if I quit, it'll have to be on conscientious objector status.

I might get a job at a coffee shop. Why? (That's sorta rhetorical, it beats market research, I keep telling myself.)

I might be getting a place with a friend.

I might, I might, I might...

I'm sitting at Young and Lazy enjoying the Jazz, and I'm reminded of the Jazz Vespers at All Saints I attended last night. The band was kick ass, and the message was really good.

Fans of Don Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" will appreciate this: part of the allure of Jazz music is that part of playing is trying to figure out which notes to play. There's this strong sense of being in improvisational Jazz: the notes being play work for that particular moment, in that particular place, in that particular venue and for that particular audience. If a wrong note is played, all the musicians do is play another note. Don't be diheartened or disillusioned, just play another note.

The minister said that Jazz is holy. I agree. There is definitely a spiritual tangent to Jazz music, the understanding that life is improvisation. When I feel like I'm completely, blindly, absurdly winging it, it is in those moments that I am truly living.

Jazz music also can bring about good sex, which brings me to this:

Brits need more lovin

They said don't live a life full of regret.

Monday musings (which happen to fall on Tuesday, I know)-Week of Oct. 17

Hey gang,
Four articles popped up on PopMatters.com, a Web site dedicated to all things pop culture. They are quite good, although a bit generic. But hey, what can you expect from Mainstream Media?
Check them out the articles on:

Job satisfaction

Family

Racial identity

Religion

I hope you enjoy them.
Also, I want to send a shout-out if see if there are any particular topics we should cover. Finances, relationships, what to do when you are in dire need to pee, only to find Dad taking his sweet time (maybe that's just me...). Anyhow, it there's anything that strikes your fancy, send a comment or write an e-mail. You'll be glad you did.

A world of possibility on Aisle 4...

I am in a grocery store.

I can tell you with near certainty that this is the correct store. I have complete confidence that it has everything I need.

I also find myself in the right section of the store. I'm in no need for frozen salmon, nor am I out of toilet paper. Whatever I need, it contains some sort of a dairy product.

As I peruse the section, I make a startling realization about what I am looking for: I am in the wrong aisle. I keep looking, searching, gawking, begging for what I am looking for to be in this aisle.

But alas, it is not here. For this reason, I feel frustration beyond belief. How can I be so close, yet so far away? How come the signs mention everything that is soap and soup, but yet not provide the "God's will in neon lights" that I'm looking for?

Even more simplistic, if I am in the wrong aisle, how the hell do I get to the right aisle? Time? Positive thinking? A new suit?

The Age of Unreason is fully upon us...

This passage comes from my consulting book, which is taken from Charles Handy's "The Age of Unreason."

"The status quo will no longer be the best way forward. The best way will be less comfortable and less easy but, no doubt, more interesting, a word we often use to signal an uncertain mix of danger and opportunity. ...While in Shaw's day, perhaps, most men and women were reasonable, we are now entering an Age of Unreason, when the future, in so many areas, is there to be shaped, by us and for us. ...for bold imaginings in private life as well as public, for thinking the unlikely and doing the unreasonable."

My old forensics coach had a sign on his door which said ADAPT OR DIE. No kidding.

I am of the belief that life is change. I am also of the belief that I have reached the limits of my reason. So, I need faith, apparently just enough of a mustard seed. It is funny that in our world, a little goes a long way. A little yeast, a little turn of the wheel, a little comment, or a little sparking smile. The emphasis on total and complete reason has left a lot of standing still. A little faith has created a lot of possibilities.

OK, back to studying.

Monday musings-Week of Oct. 9

Howdy party people!
I have discovered the coolest little coffee shop in North Long Beach (well, the coolest one until I start my own). Cafe Young and Lazy is small, yet comfy. The Organic coffee is rich and robust (hehe...I said robust...never mind) and most importantly, it's just me, so I get to hog all the WiFi. Hahahaha!
I am making another attempt at studying on this fine Monday. Lots and lots of projects are coming up, plus I have to decide what classes I want to take for the spring (and also decide if I want to return, but that's neither here nor there.)
I was fortunate to check out the Grand Ave. Festival in downtown L.A. this past Saturday. A free performance by Dakah, a hip-hop orchestra in the Disney Concert Hall (which is exceptionally cool), free admission to MOCA and lots of other goodies was highlighted by a free concert by Kinky. My friend Lys has sworn on their greatness since I first met her, so I was lucky to check out the goodness for myself. Frankly, they put on one hell of a show. Great energy, fantastic musical sound (even though the lead singer's mic wasn't on that much) and an overall superb time. I highly recommend their music if you see it at a local Tower Records (which is going out of business this week, so all CDs are 10% off.)

REDCAT (I forget what it stands for, but it's the CalArts Theater right near the Concert hall) showed a series of animated shorts by students and alumni. One short stood out for this musing's purposes.

A fisherman was trying to catch fish in a pond, and was coming up short. Across the lake, he sees a fellow fisherman using "cheese marshmallows: the next great American bait." Realizing the success the other dude is having, he rushes off and comes back with cheese marshmallows. Casting into the lake anticipating great success, he ends up reeling in a crab that is particularly crabby.
Undaunted, the fisherman sees another fellow using the "fishmaster 3000" a high-quality apparatus that gets fish, puts them in the cooler and leaves enough time to grill on the side. The other fisherman looked like Fred Flintstone, so surely he must be cool. So, our friend purchases one of these machines, and proceeds to get a whole lotta nothing.
Defeated and nearly flat (well, he is a cartoon), our hero sees a bear run into the lake, grab a bundle of fish with its bear (yes, that pun is intended) hands and takes dinner home to the family. So, the fisherman gets a bear costume, runs into the lake, scoops up, and discovers that in his possession is a large mermaid. Terrified, he drops her, only to quickly realize that she is what the French call a "hot mermaid" and she's got the hots for him. So they start macking out in the lake, as his cheese marshmallow and fishmaster buds run into the lake with their own bear costume.

The moral of the story: If you're in a bear costume in a lake trying to get some fish and you instead get a hot mermaid, you can officially consider yourself "a product of God's grace." Everyone else gets to say, "but for the grace of God go I..."

Monday musings-Week of Oct. 2

Greetings!
After a hectic week, I am back in full force, here to give you the lowdown on all things M.A.Y.A.
This article from the Columbus (Ohio) Dispatch came by my pseudo-desk yesterday dealing with how young professionals are buying houses at a younger age and with more desire for amenities. The appeal for urban lofts, spaciousness, swimming pools and movie stars make condos and other such properties a hot commodity. Check it out

here

This topic is important to me as my housing situation has just changed. In the course of about nine months or so, I went from a co-homeowner to living with the parents back home. Not in a million years did I think I would find my way back home. I did a quick lay-over of a few months at home after I moved back from Texas, sleeping on an air mattress in the living room. Now, I sorta have a room, and while the move is temporary, I have officially moved back into my parent's house again.
I have heard the numbers that more and more M.A.Y.A.s still live with their parents, and truthfully, who can blame them? Cheap rent, free food, and if the relationship with the parents is good, it's a great deal. That motif of stamping out into your own apartment is the first big step into adulthood isn't really the case anymore.
Then again, I still think it is. Granted, job salaries are not comparable to the rising cost-of-living, especially in L.A., but there's that sense that "striking it on your own" still takes a literal ideal.
But also, independence isn't a state of location, it's a state of mind. The same can be said of adulthood--you're only an adult in your head.
Like Linterella, I find myself in a precarious position. I have worked in the career of my choice for about 4 years, and even bought a house. I made it at 26.
Now, I quit my career, am in a graduate program that I'm still not sure if it's the right way to go, and I live with Mom and Dad again.
Well, at least my life isn't boring, or I don't have children to raise.
Or do I...I should check on that one.

Kissing off the King's Men...

This was an actual dialogue on Friday night.
I am at the movie theater, deciding between The Last Kiss and All the King's Men. I am Yours Truly (Y.U) and the box office dude (B.O.D.)

Y.U: So, what movie should I see tonight?
B.O.D.: What do you want to see?
Y.U.: I can't decide between the Last Kiss and All the King's Men. What do you think?
B.O.D.: Well, at this point of my life, I'm not in the right psychiatric state of mind for a relationship movie.
Y.U.: I hear ya, dude.
B.O.D.: Yeah, my girlfriend wanted me to see it, but now, she's no longer my girlfriend, so that's a no.
(A brief, yet profoundly awkward pause)
Y.U.: Yeah, girls suck.
(Another pause).
B.O.D.: Plus, I hear the overall message is nice, but a bit unrealistic.
Y.U.: OK, OK...I'll go for All the King's Men then.
B.O.D.: That'll be 8 bucks.
(As the exchange is being finalized, we both seem introspective and thoughtful).
Y.U.: Dude, chicks suck.
B.O.D.: No kidding.

By the way, All the Kings Men is OK, but if could have been a little more focused. Strangely, the message of All the King's Men was "chicks suck." also.
Sigh.

More musings

My friend Melody passed this on to me today. For those of you M.A.Y.A.s that have seen Garden State and The Last Kiss, do you think Zach Braff is the voice of our generation? Or do you just wish someone would crush his larynx? Such musings can be found in Josh Levin's article, "Why I hate Zach Braff," on Slate.

Go here.

Monday musings-Week of Sept. 25

Howdy folks!
This is going to be a lean musings. I'm moving this week, and Linterella is busy in her "real" job. This would be a good time to remind you, the young, fabulous and broke reader, that we are open to suggestions and postings. Feel free to contact either Linterella or myself.
This tells of Roadtrip Nation, a company dedicated to issues that affect young adults. They were the creators of "The Open Road," a documentary of a bunch of twentysomethings traveling all over this great country of ours, trying to get interviews with popular people on how to deal with life. I've seen parts of it, and what I saw was really good. Check out this feature on them:

here