Wednesday, May 23, 2007

M.A.Y.A. Music Addict

I've been a music nut for as long as I can remember--even back to my early elementary school days when I had my own record player and a stack of records I'd borrowed from my parents. As the years went by, my music obsession grew and evolved. There was my rap phase, my hard rock phase, my angry chick phase, etc. Somewhere along the way, though, I became concerned that I might one day become too grown-up for good, cutting-edge music, that there would be a magic age when I had to listen to the lame-ass "lite rock" radio station they play in doctors' offices. A magic age when contemporary music became irrelevant to my life. Or too loud. Or too offensive. And I feared this age.

I still believe that. I still believe there must be a point when everything changes, when I prefer the music of my youth to the music of "today," whenever that day is. I wonder when it will come?

In the meantime, I'll keep obsessing. I'm currently in a music phase best described as "wildly eclectic." I bought three new CDs this week: Linkin Park, Amy Winehouse, and Maroon 5. I'm 27 years old, and I still have no problem blasting each in my car with my windows rolled down and the bass rattling my rear view mirror so badly I can't use it.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Two roads to odd greatness...

Two things happened today that were of unusual importance to me.
First, the Rev. Jerry Falwell passed away. Most celebrated this news with chinking of coffee mugs and statements of how the disenfranchised can rejoice and hope that Pat Robertson suffers the same fate in an expedited manner. In my opinion, it is the classic case of absolute power corrupting absolutely. The man lost his mind in the course of trying to change the American political landscape, which he did to a certain degree.

My grandfather went to college with Falwell in Missouri and mentioned that he was a very nice and earnest man. This is no doubt about Falwell's earnestness and sincerity. In fact, it was his earnestness that prompted a life-changing moment for me. I was living at the Willmore in Long Beach and was watching Meet the Press before leaving for church. On this show, Russert has brought together Richard Land, head of the Southern Baptist convention, Al Sharpton, Jim Wallis, head of Sojourners (and a big favorite of Linterella and me) and Falwell. They were to talk about the state of American religion. Did they ever. It took about, oh, three minutes before the shouting and hexing up to the other person's great-grandchildren was in full swing.

What was unique about this conversation was the question Falwell asked Jim Wallis. "Who did you vote for?" Falwell inquired. Wallis answered that he voted for John Kerry, to which Falwell responded that he was in direct violation of Scripture and should resign from the pastorate immediately. Everyone was shocked and I was dumbfounded.
And thus the conversation went. I contributed to the discussion by saying a few "holy profanities" at a pretty loud level and then huffed out. On the way to church, I wondered aloud how we as Christians got to this point and felt genuine compassion over those that might have legitimate questions about faith, hear these morons and get turned off. In the midst of my own whining, I was impressed with this simple statement: "Well, what are you going to do about all of this?"

Tonight at All Saints, Paul Hawken was speaking and signing copies of his new book, "Blessed Unrest." Hawken wrote the book "The Ecology of Commerce," which has altered my thinking about the affairs of the world and life. His website is linked under "What are they thinking?" and I highly recommend checking out his stuff. It has completely slipped my mind that he was speaking until I saw his book in Borders yesterday and freaked out that it was last night. Luckily, it was tonight and I arrived just in time. (I hate L.A. traffic. Let me say that again. I hate L.A. traffic.)

During the talk, Hawken spoke about how there is an inherent mystery and wonder to how life works. For example, the immune system is the most complex process of a person. We have an understanding of how it works and when it works, but there is still so much to be learned about WHY it works. That is still a mystery. The processes of time and energy allow for history to take shape and cycle in the ultimate hope of true, lasting progress. There is over a million organizations that operate to help improve life. Environmental, social justice, economical, religious, local, global...people are at work seeking to change the world by changing their world.

Hawken's work really opened my eyes to a greater appreciation of the process, the journey. That was emphasized by this statement: You cannot change the world on your own, so stop trying. You cannot control results and outcomes, so stop the ways of control. The only thing that you can do is control your intention.
As T.S. Eliot said, "All you have in life is the trying, the rest is none of your business."

I have a greatness complex: I want to be great. I want to do great things. In the name of Christ, in the name of good, healthy Christianity. In the name of saving the world. In the name of saving myself. Our generation has a greatness complex. The powers that pee have deemed that we as M.A.Y.A.s have the access, the skills, the mindset and the opportunities to do things that have yet to be achieved. I think I have safely say that the pressure is overwhelming. That is why people get degrees they don't need, take jobs they don't want and make decisions that shouldn't be made. That is a fundamental reason why adolescence flows into the 30s and probably further and why no one is in a hurry to become an adult.

So, you want to be great? Well, great in what? Working? Drinking? Finding the next big idea? Those answers are elusive, and that is because they don't exist. Moreover, greatness is found not in singularity, but rather community. Not fake, overpriced Christian college "chapel is the greatest thing in the world" community, but honest-to-God and honest-to-yourself community.

Rev. Falwell knew this. The Moral Majority and the Religious Right wanted to be great. They were great because they were right, but it wasn't just the subtle satisfaction of being on the right fence of eternity that was the focal point. It was the quest to exude their sense of rightness from the top down, because if everyone saw how right and how great they were, then the world would be as it should be. Christ would make an encore appearance, and the universe is right as rain. It's not that it was a Christian idea, but that it was Jerry Falwell's Christian idea. In his eyes, the ACLU caused God to enact 9/11 and that anyone who is pro-choice is violating God's laws.

I look at Jerry Falwell and look at Paul Hawken and the thousands of people that are working to make a difference and I see two paths which lead to greatness. Again, as I am a Christian, I don't view Rev. Falwell as a bad person. I just think he was part of the system that we wanted to change. I'm sure there was a time when that fire to bring forth the things that society needs was there, but like so many others, it gets lost in the quest for complete assimilation. And while I do disagree on Hawken on a few issues, he provides a viewpoint for a new systems theory in how we conduct business, engage in politics and commune with nature.

I say both paths lead to greatness based on the definitions of greatness that are offered. Is one great based on adhering to tents of faith, even to the minutiae on how one votes for or not? Is one great on making small, seemingly insignificant decisions that lack short-term profitability? They both offer a sense of hope and more important, a vision. How can things be? How should things be?

And that is the question I am asked. And that's the question we as M.A.Y.A.s are asked.